maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Randomize
