If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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