Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
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