Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
