guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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