I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Congratulations! We have a period
Randomize
