if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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