she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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