don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
ok first of all what the fuck
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
