i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
Is it because I queefed?
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
