I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
