Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
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