I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
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