Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
I need a beard to bite.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Randomize
