Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize