why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
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