apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
