I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize