so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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