I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Randomize
