I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
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