So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Randomize