Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
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