the condom got lost in my hair
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
He's a Shit stain on my heart
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?