Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
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Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
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Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.