walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
How does one acquire holy water?
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus