it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
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