giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Randomize
