Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Randomize
