so explain again why im purple
no
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Randomize
