It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
So here I am, sexting at work.
Panties = found
Randomize
