i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Everything about him screamed your future.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Randomize
