can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
