If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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