Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
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