It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?