nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
