Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
