Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
