i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Randomize
