Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Randomize
