So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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