First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
