Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
