he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Randomize
