And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
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