yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
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