when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
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