We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
