Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Randomize
