So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
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