dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
Randomize
