Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
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i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
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I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
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