i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
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