Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
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I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
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I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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