I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
