Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
