Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Randomize
