just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
You've changed since you got that strap on
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
