Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
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