There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize