and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
Randomize
