Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
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