it was like his penis was on wheels.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
