you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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